When You Feel Alone: God Is Still With You

Sometimes there’s comfort in being “alone.” Moments where you crave solitude and simply want to slow down from the hustle and bustle of day-to-day living. I’ve always been someone who enjoyed my own company. I’d be quite content to just sit at home doing whatever I wanted, or nothing at all, feeling at peace.

Recently, though, I’ve been feeling alone in a not-so-content and peaceful way, in a way that made me sad, angry and despondent.

The truth is, we are never really alone. God is with us every step of the way, and I can say with absolute certainty that during those moments, it did not feel like that was true. At all.

I said I felt alone, but in reality, what I felt was loneliness, a deep and heavy loneliness, one that couldn’t be fixed by going outside or interacting with others, one that slowly started to feel like it was becoming a part of who I was.

I’ve had moments where I felt depressed, and that almost feels like a forbidden statement to make (iykyk). It felt like everything that could go wrong was going wrong.

At first, I told myself God had me in a season of isolation, that I was being set apart. Then it hit me, I no longer had consistent conversations or friendly, funny interactions with people I once never went a day without speaking to. The phone didn’t ring much anymore, messages slowed down, and life became repetitive, home, work and church on Sundays. That was it.

During that time, I should have leaned on God more. I should have prayed more, fasted more, and used all of that newfound free time to draw near to Him. Instead, I mindlessly scrolled, binge-watched countless shows on Netflix and slept.

A lot.

I wasn’t taking care of myself, I wasn’t active, I had work stress, study stress, and I underestimated how deeply certain disconnections would affect me. I’m no stranger to emotional burnout, but this felt different. This felt personal, maybe even, in part, self-inflicted.

I felt like a tree without leaves, bare and waiting for spring to come around.

There’s nothing like feeling yourself sinking and then choosing to give in.

I always say to fight back, and eventually, I did.

It was hard because while I was choosing to fight the feeling, the loneliness itself was still real. The lack of people around me was still true, but it didn’t have to define how I saw myself.

I am allowed to feel lonely, but I should never forget that I am only a branch, HE is the vine.

Waiting for spring is a season on its own. Spring will come, and things will shift. Joy really does come in the morning, even when it feels like the night lasted forever.

God is still good. He’s still kind, faithful and just. Even when I don’t see it, He’s working. He never stops working.

I say all this to say, yes, we experience moments of loneliness, and yes, it can feel heavier than we expect, but we are never truly alone. God walks beside us even when we forget He’s there.

Weeping may endure for a night, but joy is on its way.

This season is still ongoing for me, and I’m still fighting back. But I’m not alone, and neither are you. Things will change, tides will turn, and the season you’re waiting for may be closer than you think.

Keep the faith and never stop fighting back.

If you’re walking through something similar and need someone to talk to or simply want to share your story, you can reach me here.

“Where can I go from Your Spirit? Where can I flee from Your presence?” Psalm 139:7